I’m doing the Edinburgh Fringe this year and I’ve already fucked it up: Entry 26 Top Bum

As the Festival is winding down and Monday is a bank holiday, I muster the strength to deposit the now obviously ridiculous and stupid amount of cash I’ve been carrying around all festival. I haven’t been consistent in writing down how much money I made from the bucket this year. The buckets have been good but I don’t want to measure my show in an oven monetarily. It’s nice and embarrassing to realize I’ve been carrying around over 300 pounds in cash. I have been using a card reader as well and it was nice to look at my bank balance and know I’ll be comfortable this Fall. I’ve made a profit this Fringe, second time in a row. It is much easier to make a profit when you’re not flying in from Japan, I’ve learned. I had a chat with my boyfriend about my turning down the paid Fringe offer earlier this year. I was wondering for a minute if I had made a mistake not trying to gather a big 4 stamp. He reminded me I would have hated bleeding money for a month and the payoff was less than guaranteed. He’s right. I would have hated it.  

I still have 90 posters that I haven’t put up and I am wondering if I should hire someone to put them up next year. Every year I think that and then I also think, “The money is better spent on flyering. If the poster image is ridiculously entertaining, I just might.  

The bank is on the other side of town and I rush to my first spot of the day. I arrive backstage 2 minutes before I go on stage and that was really fun. The adrenaline of running to the gig extended to the stage and woke up a very hungover crowd. 

The show tonight goes well. I give myself some more time to talk to the audience that usual and it goes well. Comedian Aaron Twitchen  told me I’m like a drag queen that can write actual jokes. That sounds about right.  There is one joke in my show that I love. The punchline is fine but I feel like there is a better one just around the corner. Hopefully, it will occur to me by Sunday. To be honest, it’s probably one of the reasons I am not bored with the show yet. 

Afterwards I do porno charades and   Feel like I am finally getting the hang of this game and am getting better at jumping in on the shit talk and banter. 

One of the team captains “stole the wife” of the other.

I said “ If’s fine because she was inflatable anyway.”

Team Captain “Aye, that’s why she went down on me.”

Me “Because you’re a prick.”

Fist bumps galore.  God I love being a dick with like-minded people. 

Three Prosecco later Aaron Twitchen and I are are in an industry bar as we both believe Fringe flu comes from drinking outside in the cold.  Seriously, unless you are ice fishing, what is the fucking point?! And if you are Ice fishing, what is the fucking point?! Ok. I’m drunk and I know that because I suddenly have a self-esteem and am about to tell everyone exactly what I think of them. Time to go home. 

Night night! Lights out at 3:14 am.