diary

What Now?! : Entry 1 To swim or not to swim in a Lido that is the question

The Fringe has ended and I should take a few days off to relax. This is what my thought process is when I try to decide exactly how to relax….

Maybe I should go swimming.

London has been so warm the past few days it makes zero sense that the Lido pools are still freezing. The outdoor pools in this country are open all year and are attended  by old people in wet suits that think heated indoor-pools are instruments of the devil. 

The first and only time I went to a Lido, I foolishly jumped in without testing the water. The pain was so sharp and all over my body, it felt like was like jumping into a liquid iron maiden. It was only after jumping in in that I realized most of the adults in the pool were wearing wet suits and most of the children in the pool were only there because they were double-dog-dared to. 

I love swimming though my technique could use some correcting. I know you are supposed to take shallow breathes but I genuinely don’t know when I will come up for air again and prepare accordingly. The way I take huge gulps of air between strokes, I’m sure my lungs look like the food pantries of a conspiracy theorist. . 

As a child, I was fearless around water. I loved jumping off the high diving board. I never “dived”. That was too scary, but I did do turns and flips. The scariest thing I did was climb the ladder up to the high board at the public pool. Because I couldn’t use my right arm, once I got to the top of the ladder, I’d bend over the board to let go of the ladder  and  get a better grip on the railing so I could pull myself up onto the board. I did  this for over nearly a whole summer before my dad saw me do it. He put the fear of falling backwards onto the concrete into me and I never did it again. 

As an adult, I love swimming laps but it is also source of immense anxiety. I am an ok swimmer buy am constantly worried that I am holding up traffic behind me. I am constantly monitoring everyone in front and behind me and do everything I can to let the faster swimmers pass before I push off the wall. Gawd, this must be what driving feels like and I am so glad I don’t do THAT.

It is annoying when I see someone with a severe disability on TV driving.  I remember some paralegal that has no arms or legs and does everything with her tongue being featured on TV in the US years ago. She had a lovely house, career, 5 kids and drives a truck.

Yeah, ok. disabled people can drive. That doesn’t mean all disabled should. As far as I’m  concerned, showing disabled people driving is just an excuse  not to improve public transportation. If I made it big, I would spend my money on improving the train and bus system in the US. I would be instantly broke again but I’d be able to go into an American town while reading a book and that sounds fine to me. Yeah, that’s it. I think I’ll read a book on my way into town.

This daily blog is not checked for spelling or punctuation, just like Chortle

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